No shit, there I was, October 20th, sitting at work checking my emails. An email pops in from S-3 and so I open it.
HALLOWEEN FUN RUN!
It reads something along the lines of, if you are interested in a Battalion Fun Run, come out at 0615 in a costume and do a fun run with the unit!
Well, for starters, definitely not interested in running in a costume. Second, I work nights and that sounds like a fantastically lame reason to stay later into the morning. 100% not going to go. My troops, yeah they aren’t down with this either so they all say no as well. Too easy. We put that one to bed.
And now, no shit here I am, October 29th getting up to start my day (errr, night. gotta keep my night shift sleep schedule), and a message comes through the leadership chat. It reads “Everyone is to be at the PT field at 0615 in work appropriate civilian [workout attire] or costumes”
WHAT
THE
FUCK
What was once supposed to be a voluntary fun thing is now a mandatory event for people to come out and pretend to have fun.
I went shopping at the commissary and thought about why the hell we have to have mandatory fun and a few things popped into my head.
First, I remember the time I had an officer tell me that all of his troops really liked doing fun runs and morale PT. Maybe that unit was a weird one, but every unit I have been at reads “morale PT” or “Fun Run” as “waste of time” or “would rather be asleep”. I have never met a Soldier that was PUMPED about having to wake up and go on a 3mile fun run at the pace of the slowest Soldier in the unit. Its all just sore shins and a waste of time. A lot of Soldier’s don’t even get anything out of being so slow, and the slow people get humiliated in front of the unit by having everyone else around to see just how brutally slow they are. This thought/memory led me to me next though.
Why do we do these morale runs if no one likes them? I think I came up with the answer.
Think about when you were younger and your mom or dad got you that one gift that you really didn’t want but they really thought you’d like it. For me, it was this little planetarium thing that put the stars on my bedroom walls and roof. I didn’t really dig it that much but I used it a bunch because I felt sad letting my parents think I didn’t like something they were so gracious to give me.
The reason units keep doing these morale PT events is a lot like that.
A Battalion Commander says to his Company Commanders, “hey Company Commanders (or probably uses their first names) let’s do a fun run for the Soldiers. Its optional but if they would like to participate it will be at this place and time.” Then, the Company Commanders go out to their respective units and put the word out that there is this optional fun run and we are encouraged to go.
Now the 1SG and his NCOs have to pass this to the troops. “Hey motherfuckers, there is a fun run you can do if you want, so here are some details”. From here, the wheels of planning are set into motion. People reserve the field, get the equipment (mostly just a speaker system for hype music and a mic for the commander to yell into at the end), get the water stuff, have a Combat Life Saver ready in case someone dies on the short, slow run, and then book the PAO to take sweet photos of our morale.
But oh no! Two days before the event they realize that none of the Soldier want to do this. It was mandatory and the way the Soldiers feel is best to build morale is to distance themselves from Army bullshit. Very few people outside of the command staff has volunteered to come. What to do!?
Enter from stage right, NCO driven by looking good.
NCO Driven by Looking Good: “Loddy Doddy everybody will be at the PT field at 0615 in costumes or civilian PT’s. NO ARMY PT UNIFORMS!”
Everyone: “But it was mandatory, Sarn’t!”
NCO Driven by Looking Good: “I don’t give a fuck. None of y’all signed up so we’re all doing it”
And that is that.
What was supposed to be a fun, morale building activity for those who are interested, is now just another thing the Army does. Instead of just making it be regular PT, they had to get all extra and do all this extra stuff for us, and then they treat it like a favor we should be grateful for. I’m not grateful for this. I’m annoyed by it. The worst part of it is, the leadership at upper echelons have no idea that people are showing up because they are forced. They all think the morale is high and that we want to do this. Thus, the cycle continues and we continue to have optional events that no one wants to do because mandatory.
BUT WE CAN STOP THIS CHAIN
If everyone just starts being honest with leadership and letting them know that no one really wants to do these things and only comes because lower level leadership forces it, the events may stop. In fact, I know this is true because I have been in a unit where they told the Battalion Commander that no one was interested in these things and the BC listened. She stopped doing them and then around holidays instead of these things, we would get a text the night before that said something to the effect of, “hey, BC cancelled PT for the Battalion tomorrow for Halloween. Get some extra sleep.”
You know what happened with that? Soldiers got some extra sleep, or Soldiers stayed up later the night before doing something they wanted. Either way, morale was boosted.
Leaders need to get in touch with their subordinate’s feelings and motivation and be a champion for that with the command. They need to not just bend over and let the command steamroll them. If you speak up, maybe the unit will change its views or practices. Hell, maybe they won’t and you will still have to go, but you either went silently, or went after supporting your troops, and you should always do what you can to support your troops.